Failure itself does not cause harm. It can have many benefits. It’s how you react to failure is what really matters. If your failure makes you a pessimist and you start taking everything negatively, then definitely you are reacting in a very harmful manner.
Reflect on your failure
Don’t let the failure control you. Reflect on your failure and question yourself
- Was I over-confident?
- Did I prepare for half-heartedly? For example, did I prepare for a 50% result and expected 70%?
- Maybe this is not meant for me.
A heart-touching story
I remember once my daughter came home very disappointed in two consecutive test results. She was very upset. She wouldn’t eat, be depressed and felt as if she will not be able to do well ever again. In the evening I shared a story with her that really moved her, (A Whatsapp message from my friend):
My niece was a topper in her O Levels. She became unwell one day and after several tests found out she was suffering from cancer. Once she was slightly better and battling this grave disease she wrote her entire experience on a social media network. She said that I remember worrying about tests and exams and how much they disturbed me when my grades were not according to my expectations. After going through this life changing experience, I wish I could go back to that carefree life…..where the only worry was a chemistry test and how many marks I scored. Today I have to go through multiple painful test procedures and have to wait and see if the results are positive and negative. Atleast when I failed a chemistry test I knew I had another chance but these tests i.e. cancer tests, don’t have a second sitting!
My daughter realized how lucky she was! Educational and professional tests are small tests and should not make us end our studies or struggle. Failure is only a few steps away from success. There are a few things between them……reflection, realization and trying again with more effort.
So don’t let your failure stop you from dreaming and thinking big. There’s nothing wrong with that. But plan well, develop your strategies, talk to experienced people and put in your best effort. If you fail consistently in something, do not take it as a rejection. Think of it as something that is not meant for you. As the saying goes, “a blessing in disguise”. If that field/project/subject is not going well for you, maybe this is not suitable for you and something better is awaiting you. So don’t dwell over it and move on.
When to worry
As a parent, you must keep an eye on your child when he/she is being negatively affected by a failure. If his/her mental and/or physical health is suffering then you must intervene and talk it out. For instance, if your child is not doing well in a certain sport that he loves and wants to quit, help him out. Practice with him, get him a good coach or talk to his teacher. Don’t let him give up so easily.
Do share your thoughts in comments if there is any better way!
Educationist, researcher, writer and a passionate learner from Islamabad. She has been working as a freelance writer for more than 10 years now. From academic to content writing. Finally, she is doing what she loves; writing for education. You can reach her at email@example.com